Real Time Review: When We Fell Apart by Soon Wiley

Each of us are living an experience that those around us only know just one part of, which is what we choose to show them, what we want others to see. 

When We Fell Apart by Soon Wiley, is a mysterious, sweeping, and lush story, and a beautiful musing of the duality we have as human beings. 

Min is a Korean-American living in Seoul with the desire to find, and get in touch with, a place he feels should be “home” after not feeling at home throughout his life in the U.S. Yu-jin is a student yearning to escape from parents whose expectations have always been a burden she has had to carry while also going through a period of self-discovery. Min and Yu-jin connect and begin to grow close, until Yu-jin is found dead (supposedly by suicide). What follows is an exploration of grief, identity, and the truth (which may change depending on the person).

Duality is truly the theme of this story; When We Fell Apart is told through a gorgeously layered story which really encapsulates what it is to be human and to try and understand one’s self. Told in alternating perspectives between third person for Min and first person for Yu-jin, this was a fascinating and enlightening way to tell the story. The format says so much about the idea that we only know what those close to us are willing to share. Because Yu-jin protects herself by shielding others’ from the truth about her, in Min’s chapters, we feel that distance that is created between what others are telling us and the actual truth.  Yu-jin never stood a chance in getting close to Min because she felt she was protecting herself.  When the two of them connect, it is like two ships passing in the night, both wanting something different, both willing to offer a different part of themselves.

Similarly, duality is everywhere throughout the book. Dual storylines that seamlessly weave together. Duality in the genre used to tell the story; Wiley effortlessly weaves back and forth between mystery while still exploring the struggles of human existence. A duality between wanting to stay and wanting to run. A duality between the different parts of our identity, which to me, was profoundly enlightening. A duality between expectations and reality. A duality between what we feel is wrong or right. Duality about letting your home define you or making your own definition. And a duality of not always having the right answer and acceptance.

While offering a loving and respectful window in a culture and locale that I was unfamiliar with (and I think is necessary to learn about), I think the themes of the story will resonate with any reader but particularly with those who have found themselves torn between two parts of themselves.

There were a number of beautiful passages throughout the novel that I found myself marking as I went along. I was particularly moved by Yu-jin's story and her struggles to be honest about herself with her parents (particularly her father) and the anxiety surrounding them truly knowing her, and this really resonated with me. These experiences felt real.

When We Fell Apart is wonderful, tragic, emotional. Wiley has brought to life to a story about having to choose, of having to accept; when do we stay, when do we let go. Between having all the answers, and not. Throughout the story, both Min and Yu-jin are each on their own journey to understanding themselves. Their experiences show us there's no "normal" journey to self discovery and acceptance, which itself is just one more beautiful duality.

Some of my favourite passages:

"Korea is a bridge.  Geographically, culturally, geopolitically - countries have crossed into us, over us, they've burned us down and built us back up.  That does something to a place, to its identity.  To be neither on one side nor the other - that is the most difficult thing about being a bridge.  You are neither here nor there.  You are simply between." 

"It had been easy to treat her with disdain when I didn't know anything about her."

To learn more about Soon Wiley, visit his website. When We Fell Apart is available through Penguin Random House.